Nightmare. Nightmare. Nightmare. Faces. Faces. Faces from the past. Hell. Hell. Hell is back. Send it back. Send it back. Send it back. Hollow. Hollow. So hollow.

Come forth serpent. I have feared you for far too long. Time to fight back.




-250

Do I burn the past that holds all of the mistakes I've made?  Or do I remember so that I will not repeat it again (is it worth the pain?)?


-250

The Third Conversation

"It has been far too long since our last chat, son of man."
Why are you back?
"I seek your destruction."
That you are. What brings you here serpent?
"You lost friends. You lost so many.  Why is that?"
You know exactly why.
"Tell me, it's very satisfying to hear."
No.
"Come, come, tell me.  I'm not going anywhere."
No.
"Stubborn child. I will tell you myself."
I already know.
"It was all due to your own mistakes."
I know.
"You didn't want to lose those dear to you but you lost them anyway."
I. Know.
"All because you thought they were going to leave you.  Isn't it ironic that in the end, it was you who drove them away?"
I KNOW!
"Do you? Even after they left, you lost another one. Then another disappeared.  You almost lost another.  So tell me, why haven't you learned your lesson stupid boy?"
...I have learned.  I had divine intervention with that one.
"I think it was luck that saved that friendship."
It wasn't luck.  I don't believe in luck.
"I do, which is how I got everyone else hooked on it."
Go away.
"You keep saying that, but I keep returning.  It's almost as if you keep bringing me back."
Liar.  You come back of your own will and with that will, you try to impose it upon me and countless others.
"Sure works on the majority.  My tactics will only continue to advance.  Once you leave your home, I'm coming after you with a renewed force."
You're biding your time.
"Precicely.  I'll be at your doorstep."
Go away.
"I'll be back son of man, I'll be back."
Also, I'm a son of God.  Get it right.
"Force of habit.  My apologies, O mighty Son of God."
Leave.
"You'll see me again.  I guarrantee it."

-250

Pray for the missing.  Pray for the lost.  Pray for the passed on.  Pray for those who can't find their way.  Pray for those who are seeking to be heard.  Pray for those searching desparately for purpose.  Pray for those searching desparately to be loved.  Pray for those who are empty and broken.  Pray for those who are afraid.  Pray for those who are abused.  Pray for those who are neglected.  Pray for those struggling to stay alive.  Pray for those who abuse themselves.  Pray for those who are homeless.  Pray for those struck with disease.  Pray for the parentless.  Pray for those who hate themselves.  Pray for the parent who lost their child.  Pray for those who lost someone dear to them.  Pray for those who hide their scars.  Pray for those who have scars.

This is a plea unto all who know those going through these things.  Including yourself.

Pray For Them.
-250

Well, I do have one piece of good news.  I resolved the problem between my friend and I so everything is all good.  However, another problem has come up into my life.  When I look at my future ahead, it seems less likely that I'm heading to college no am I going to be a good cellist.  I read about this one cellist who said he practiced for 3 hours every day.  I don't have that kind of time or discipline to do that.  That's the one trait I hate about myself is that I don't have that discipline to keep myself practicing.  I got to a point where I think I don't need to practice.  Unfortunately, I am very, very wrong.  I need the practice but I can't get myself to understand that.  It needs to happen eventually, not by outside forces, but by my own will.

-250

Me and my mouth. I always seem to have a way of screwing things up for myself. I ranted about Justin Bieber fans and I have offended a couple of people who were Justin Bieber fans. So, I feel like crap. I am not looking forward to going to school tomorrow. So what I plan on doing is not speaking a word for a whole week and plan on avoiding everyone for a while now.  Basically, going back to how I was before Junior year. Back to one of my personal hells. Not speaking, being alone, talking to no one but myself.  Why do I screw these things up for myself? What makes me say these things without thinking? They say it only takes one bad deed to break many good deeds. I think I destroyed my friendships. The one thing I never wanted to do. Yet, I did it anyway.  What kind of a friend am I? 

"How many times can I break till I shatter? Over the line, can't define what I'm after..."

-250

Goodbye apathy, I don't wanna be you.

-250