Purpose of The Photographer's Cabin

You know, I've been giving it some thought about why I created this blog.  I think I may have the solution to my question as to why I have this blog.  I think I want to offer some insight as to what I see, because the stuff I see, the stuff I notice, not very many people can see.  Whether it be some insight on life that I have learned or photographs I have taken, it's all what I see and what I understand.  So far, all I have had were some pics and some writing stuff, but eventually I'll put up some funnies or more pictures, once the opportunity comes along (assuming I spelled opportunity right...).  Well, so long for now and more stuff will be coming.  Maybe...

Profound Question

What is the heart?  What causes it to feel?  To beat?  To race when running or standing next to someone?  What is it about the heart that we love, and hate, so much?  Maybe we're better off not delving, not seeking to know why our hearts love and why our hearts break.  But that's not human nature.  That's not why we're here.  It's because of human nature that we understand, that makes us different.  Yet, sometimes, we hate being different.  We hate our hearts that causes us so much pain.  But at the same time, we are grateful that we have hearts.  Because we can love, it can cause healing and happiness instead of hurt and pain.  The problem is, the heart is unpredictable.  It's a variable, not one that can be read easily.  So what do you do? 
What can you do?  Never show your heart?  Or make it so it can be shown?  The real question is, what will cause it the most damage?  Never giving your heart keeps you safe, invulnerable, away from harm.  Showing your heart.  Showing your heart.  It makes you vulnerable, suceptible to harm.  Yet, many choose to show their hearts, despite the dangers that await them.  Why?  Because they choose to take a chance.  Take a chance on the person whose heart they give.  What are their chances?  No one knows. 

We are such peculiar creatures.  Completely illogical, we believe.  We believe that there is someone out there for us.  We believe because for many, it's all they have.  All they have is faith.  Because they have faith, they defy chance, stupify logic, and confound the natural man.  We believe.  That's all.  It may not seem a whole lot, but it's enough.  What if it's not enough?  What if faith is not enough for you?  What if you believe that "true love" doesn't exist?  That you'll never find it?  The answer is, you keep moving on.  You fight for what you want, even if your opponent is the world.  It may seem like an impossible task, but you know what the funny thing about the word "impossible?"  Impossible = I'm possible. 

That person is out there for you.  Praying for you, loving you, waiting for you, and working to find you.
Are you going to look for them too?  Search dilligently.  They could be near, they could be far.  The only way to know is to go and look.

-250 
     

A Conversation between A Man and the Devil

"Why can't you sleep?"
I'm restless.
"Why is it hard to go to sleep?"
I can't sleep.
"Why can't you sleep?"
I don't know.
"You're lying.  What's the real reason?"
I just can't.
"Why do you care so much about people you've just met?"
Because its who I am.
"You can't change the world.  You can't even change a life."
What if I did?
"You broke someone's heart.  You went against your creed."
I had no choice.
"You had no choice.  You had a choice to keep it, and you instead threw it away."
You're the liar.  You know exactly why I had to end it.  Why I can't take her back.
"You threw away your second chance with her.  You broke your creed."
Do you even know what my creed is?
"'Never hurt those who know you.'"  Only fools would care about breaking someone's heart."
I stand by those words.  I learned my lesson.
"But I know what you want.  What you want most in this life."
What do I want?
"Hahaha, you want love.  You want someone who believes you are 'something special' and who believes you are 'unlike any other person she has met.'  Grow up already, she's not here.  You thought you found her, didn't you?  Well guess what?  That wasn't her.  She loved you and you broke her heart by leaving her for no apparent reason."
I have a reason.
"Oho?  Pray tell what this reason is."
A gut feeling.
"A gut feeling.  Do you know how pathetic that is?"
It's not.
"Of course it's not.  You think it's the Holy Ghost.  You think that God told you to end it."
I know it was him.  I don't know why He told me but I know it was for a reason.
"Was it worth it?"
I don't know yet.
"You let her go.  You're weak and pathetic.  I feel sorry for whatever girl crosses your way."
I'm weak?  Do you see where I am now?  I beat you that summer, remember?  Because I had help from that same God who told me to break up with her.
"Ah that summer, it was fun watching you suffer, until you started realizing you had a weapon that would strike me down."
Christ.  He brought me back.  He kept me alive while you were taunting me and telling me to end my life.  Why are you here?  You cannot win.  You will not win.  I have His blessing.  He always catches me.
"Because I will not give up until I see you miserable like me.  I'm wearing you down.  You're lost, confused, and are tired."
Then I will never stop relying upon Him.  Even if my heart is broken, even if I never find the girl, even if I feel like quitting, I will never stop relying upon Him.
"Your foolishness amuses me, but still is impressive.  Why do you hope for something that will never come?"
Two things.  I believe in defying the odds and I have faith that I will find her.  You have no power here anymore.  You have no power over my life now.  Leave me now and trouble me no longer.
"Leave?! Leave?!  You can't tell me to LEAVE!
Leave me now.  You have no power, no glory.  You have caused me nothing but misery.  Living in darkness isn't exactly a living.  You cannot extinguish my inner fire.
"I'll be waiting for you, in your moment of weakness.  When that happens, I will come back."
Leave me.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Depart Hence.

The following scripture tells a similar story:
Moses 1: 12-22

Marching On

Ok, before I start, this is a new theme song to my life.  I am very picky when it comes to choosing new theme songs.  I want a theme song that sounds good and has good meaning to the lyrics.  Well, that's pretty much how I choose all of my songs, whether they are theme songs or not.  I'm just weird like that. Nothing wrong with that, but yeah.  I will post the lyrics and the link to the music video because, hey, I want to share my love of music with others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHvgAJe8bvM

Marching On by OneRepublic

For those days we felt like a mistake,
Those times when love’s what you hate,
Somehow,
We keep marching on.

For those nights when I couldn’t be there,
I’ve made it harder to know that you know,
That somehow,
We’ll keep moving on.

There’s so many wars we fought,
There’s so many things we’re not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We’re marching on,
(We’re marching on)
(We’re marching on).

For all of the plans we’ve made,
There isn’t a flag I’d wave,
Don’t care if we bend,
I’d sink us to swim,

We’re marching on,
(We’re marching on)
(We’re marching on).

For those doubts that swirl all around us,
For those lives that tear at the seams,
We know,
We’re not what we’ve seen,

For this dance we’ll move with each other.
There ain’t no other step than one foot,
Right in front of the other.

There’s so many wars we fought,
There’s so many things we’re not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We’re marching on,
(We’re marching on)
(We’re marching on).

For all of the plans we’ve made,
There isn’t a flag I’d wave,
Don’t care if we bend,
I’d sink us to swim,
We’re marching on,
(We’re marching on)
(We’re marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right,
We’re marching on.

We’ll have the days we break,
And we’ll have the scars to prove it,
We’ll have the bonds that we save,
But we’ll have the heart not to lose it.

For all of the times we’ve stopped,
For all of the things I’m not.

We put one foot in front of the other,
We move like we ain’t got no other,
We go when we go,
We’re marching on.

There’s so many wars we fought,
There’s so many things we’re not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We’re marching on,
(We’re marching on)
(We’re marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,

We’re marching on.

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,
We’re marching on.

Allow me to explain why I chose this song in particular.  Apart it being an awesome sounding song, it means something.  To me, it means that I gotta keep going, even when things aren't going according to plan.  There is no giving up, no surrendering to sorrow or depression.  You keep marching on.  You keep going. 

The drums in the song, represents two things.  Your footsteps and your heart.  Your heart will keep beating, even after heartbreak or some other traumatic event.  Your footsteps are what keeps you moving. 

In a march, there is no stopping until the march has ended.  There are no early endings.  You keep moving and showing, that even in the face of sorrow, you will continue onward, in hopes of better days. 

Now there's a good chance that I pretty much over did it in my reasoning to this song, but that's how I see it. 

I cannot stress it enough.  Keep Marching On.
-Drew (250)

The Decision

Life decisions are the hardest ones to make, I find.  Life decisions are not ones to be taken lightly like any other decision you make.  It's tough, sometimes near impossible, depending on the situation.  After you make the decision, you wonder, "Did I do the right thing? Was I supposed to make that decision?"  Sometimes, you will hate yourself for making that decision. But the thing is, there was a reason for it. A purpose that will show itself when the time is right, after you have made that decision. 

Many find that one of life's hardest decisions involves relationships.  Break ups.  Taking a chance on someone.  Mostly the decision to break-up with someone.  Now, granted, there are reasons for a break-up. But the question is this: What if the relationship was going very well and you had to end it for no reason at all? It's one that raises eyebrows and questions the motive of that person.  Why end it when all is well?  Why break their hearts and your own in the process for a something based on a hunch or a gut-feeling?

I'm a person who relies upon such gut-feelings.  It helps me know what others are feeling.  It lets me know when something, good or bad, is about to happen.  I find that such feelings are never, ever wrong.  But, what if it meant ending something so wonderful?  Something that you will hate yourself for?

Now, I've always been the break-upee, never the break-upper.  I stand for the idea that you should never hurt a person in any way possible.  But I recently made a decision.  A decision that was almost impossible for me to do.  Be the break-upper.  I hated the process with a passion.  It was against what I stood for.  I repeat, I hated it.  I broke her heart, and shattered mine in the process.  The thought that constantly plagued me was, did I make the right decision?  I'm told that I did make the right decision. But I don't know if I should believe it myself.  I don't break hearts.  I don't shatter them.  I mend, heal, and preserve the heart.  Yet here I am, the first time I broke a heart.  It's not something to be proud of.  Ever. 

So I had an encounter with her today.  It was way awkward...she asked if we could still be friends, to which I replied yes.  But the thing is, she pretty much hates my guts right now.  Will she forgive me? I don't know.  But I cannot dwell on the past.  I must continue onward.  Gotta keep going.  I learned my lesson.  Let's hope I don't make the same mistake again....

-From the Journal Entry of Spartan-250. Date: 8/7/2010

Nature Photos

The Best of the Best.  I think.