The Storm

Matthew 14: 22-33

22     And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away.
23     And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.
24     But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.
25     And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.
26     And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
27     But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
28     And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
29     And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
30     But when he was the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
31    And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?
32    And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.
33    Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

Storm by Lifehouse
How long have I 
Been in this storm 
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form 
Water's getting harder to tread 
With these waves crashing over my head 

If I could just see you 
Everything will be alright 
If I'd see you 
The storminess will turn to light 

And I will walk on water 
And you will catch me if I fall 
And I will get lost into your eyes 
And everything will be alright 
And everything will be alright 

I know you didn't 
Bring me out here to drown 
So why am I 10 feet under and upside down 
Barely surviving has become my purpose 
Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface 

If I could just see you 
Everything will be alright 
If I could just see you 
This darkness will turn to light 

And I will walk on water 
And you will catch me if I fall 
And I will get lost into your eyes 
And everything will be alright 

And I will walk on water 
You will catch me if I fall 
And I will get lost into your eyes 
And everything will be alright 
I know everything is alright 
Everything's alright 


See the connection yet?
-250

Recently, I have been looking back at my life, and I realized that since the summer of 2009 up until the beginning of the summer of 2010, it has been the lowest and darkest time of my life.  How do I know this? I found a poem that I wrote. Hahahaha, I wasn't always a happy smiley guy...

Date: 10/10/09
Title: The Prayer of a Lost Soul

Is anyone there?
Can anyone hear me?
Can anyone hear the cries of a lost soul?
Please, someone hear me.

I strayed from the rod,
I fell away from the path,
I am lost in a mist of darkness,
Please, someone hear me.

The tree of joy is in my sight.
But the closer I get, the farther it is.
I can't reach it.
Please, someone help me.

A man in a white robe says, "Follow me."
I follow him, only to find that I can't find the tree.
I am so lost.
Please, someone bring me back.

I am losing faith. I am losing hope.
I feel so alone.
Who here can I talk to? Who here can I trust?
Please, someone talk to me.

I want peace. I want joy.
But I keep pushing it away.
I failed you my brother.
I'm trying so hard but I failed.

I don't want you to be sad anymore.
I hate causing you so much pain.
I need help coming back.

Please find me in this darkness.
Bring me back to your loving arms.
Be with me in my suffering.
Despite what I've done, don't leave me.

I need you here with me.
More than ever now.
I'm scared of the darkness.
I can't find my way back.

I'm causing so much pain.
So much pain to you, and to my loved ones,
Watching as I wander in the darkness,
Looking for you and them.

Please big brother, come and find me.
I am so sorry for what I've done.
I want to come back, but I am so lost.
Lead me back to your love.
My heart is full of anguish.
I keep on straying.
Please answer when I call.
I want to find my way back.

-250

Fall Photo Warning!

Hoorah! It's almost that time of year.  The time for the fall photos!  This is just a preview for the eventuall fall photos that will be posted here.  Now the places I'm thinking of are either at Sundance or at a place called East Canyon.  Definitely looking forward to it.  My best estimate for the fall colors would be in about a week or so.  Anyway, the fall photos will be here once I go out :D.  Cya later!



-250

Lately, I began to notice all the couples that are at my school.  Even some of my friends are going out with someone.  Yet, I wonder...Do they know what love is?  Do any of us know what love is?  They say they're in love but do they truly know what it is?  Perhaps, what they have, is only small, minuscule, compared to the real thing. But, what exactly is the real thing?  My parents say its indescribable.  Maybe that's why we don't know what it is.  Maybe it's because we have yet to experience it for ourselves.  How will we know though?  How will we know that what we experience is love?  Perhaps we'll know when we feel it.  We will know it without a doubt in our minds.

I don't get it.  I don't get it anymore.  I thought that by letting you go from my mind, that if I'd stop holding on, you would finally leave me in peace.  I thought if I didn't talk to you anymore, you would finally leave me behind. Why are you still here?  Why do you continue to torment me?!  You were supposed to leave...why didn't you leave?  You know what?  Letting go isn't going to work, because for some stupid reason, you're still here.  You're different.  Like me, you're different.  Why do you have to be different?  Why can't you be like the other girls and just leave?
Help me.  Someone help me.

-250

The Answer

I finally figured it out.  Why you tormented me and wouldn't leave. It's because I held on.  I wouldn't let you go because I had hope that you were the one I was searching for.  But I understand now.  All I need to do is let go of you, thus making me free.  I'm glad you taught me this lesson, if unknowingly.  You know what my plan is?  I plan on slowly fading from your life.  You won't know what will be happening and you won't know that I will have disappeared.  The funny part?  You will forget about me.  You won't even realize it.  So, good bye.  You will never see my face again.  If so, that means God isn't done with us yet.


-250

Endless Nights

The nights are getting longer.  They're always getting longer.  You know why they get longer?  Because you continue to torment me.  Why do you keep tormenting me?  You're the source of all my confusion.  I can't even like one girl anymore.  I don't know who I like anymore, because you keep coming back.  Even after I have repeatedly tried to get rid of you out of my head for good.  Normally, that would've worked on any other girl, but you.  I don't know what it is about you, but you won't leave.  Why do you stay when all others have gone?  What makes you different from the rest of them?  What is it about you that I keep coming back to?  I want to be with you, yet at the same time, I want you gone.  I hate the fact that there are certain things that constantly remind me of you.  Why are you different?  Why do you keep returning to torment me?  Just leave me alone.  I want sleep.  I need sleep.  But I can't hide within my dreams, because you'll find me there.  You already have found me there.  Those bittersweet dreams where you appear.  What can I do to get you to leave? What do you want from me?  What do you want me to do?  What I need to do is run, keep running from you.  Run far away so I can figure this out.

-250

What do you believe to be a major problem amongst teens today?

What I seem to find as I walk around school is that there is not just one major problem. There are many major problems that we could possibly be having. Perhaps we could be fighting addiction, trying to turn a good leaf in school, confusion from relationships, or our home lives just aren't going well. The major problem really is all those, what some consider to be small, problems that just seem to pile up and work against us, trying to destroy us. What are we to do when all these problems are against us and we don't have a way of breaking them down? I find the burden easier when you have someone to help you along the way. Yet, not very many teenagers are not as lucky as I am. They don't have the luxury of having help in bearing their burdens. Most have to do it all on their own or are too stubborn to share their load with anyone else. It is a curious irony that burdens are not something we want to share when they are far too heavy for us to carry ourselves. I find that in this mode of thinking is a matter of pride. Some people want to believe and seem to believe that they can carry their loads all by themselves, without any help whatsoever. Granted we can carry these loads, but not for very long. The truth is, we need help, whether we want it or not.

Changes

Fall is coming.  I notice it in the air and I see it in the leaves.   The leaves are slowly changing, with the barest hint of yellow.  Fall is a time of change, where the earth and the night change, where the weather gets cooler.  Does that mean a time of change for us too?  A time to right our wrongs?  Or is it only for the leaves?   Questions, questions.  Questions that can only be answered by the leaves.  Nature see more than we realize.  It knows more than we think.  Yet, most of us are so ignorant of that fact, we refuse to change.  There are those, though, who know that change is coming and are preparing for it.  So, what do we do?  Do we change our color like the leaves?  Or stay like the evergreens and never change?

-250  

Thunderstruck

It's hard, there's no doubt about that.  So much confusion, so much pain.  So why indeed are we here?  Are we here because God has a sense of humor?  Or was there a purpose of us being here?  Life could hold one answer or the other, because, like a storm, it's unpredictable.  You never know where the lightning could strike.   But, at the same time,  there are those people who have a special foresight, good estimate of where the lightning is, and where it will strike.  But who has the foresight?  Who can possibly know when and where?  Who knows when you'll be struck?  What kind of struck am I talking about?  That's up to you.  Because, I'm still trying to figure that one out.

-250