Hey, me, as always. I don't know what to think anymore. I want to tell her what I truly feel about her but I remember the last time I tried to become to involved in someone's life. I ended up getting burned, another page just thrown into the fire, never to be remembered again, never to be mentioned again. I don't want to become close to her either. I'm afraid that the more I become involved, the more I... ... I can't even say the word anymore. I threw it around too much. So much that I don't understand the meaning anymore. I don't even remember what it feels like to be held in such high esteem, to have someone who cares about you in a special way. I want to be able to feel like that again. To feel like that I really mean something to someone, instead of being tossed aside like a paper wad. But, I'm only a teenager. That means I'm not mature enough for these kinds of feelings. I'm more than aware of that fact and I hate it. I know that I'm not ready, but...I just want to know that I'm not dead to those feelings. I want to know if I can still feel. Instead of guilt, I want to feel purity.
Let's be honest, I'm not going to get the things I want, no matter how much I wish for it. Move on? I hope so.
Maybe...Living alone won't be such a bad thing.